First documentary draft

With our first edit of our documentary, we can see a real narrative to our documentary. We can see a todorav structure and how the final documentary will end up looking. After receiving feedback from our class mates and teachers, we came up with things to change on our documentary:
-Voice-over changes
-sharper cuts
-ending
-fade outs
-change of doc mode (observatory to participatory)
-change to script (third and first)
You can clearly see the voice over and ending is poor. I did the voice over on Sony Vegas 11 on my own laptops that i had no clue was party damaged until I actually got recording, hence the poor recording.


From our feedback, we established that too many fadeout made our documentary slightly boring, however, when I was editing I found that having too many sharp cuts made the documentary seem rushed. This was a bit of a  dilemma for smooth continuity. This is something to consider when we make changes.
Our teacher also expressed his criticism to the sound levels when we interview rand people on the street about dopamine. he thinks we can play with the sound a bit more, lowering the ambience. When I was editing, I already noticed it but found it hard to change it but I'll consider this when I get back to editing. Additionally, after careful consideration, we decided to change the mode of the documentary from observatory to participatory, essentially altering the script from third person to first.

voice over script 1

This is a 5 year old called kyreece. with ever-changing technology in modern society, individuals such as kyreece spend excessive amount of hours consuming technology. His uncle, Ali, goes on a journey to discover why his nephew consumes so much technology on a daily basis, and if it linked to the way everyone in society consume so much.

With Alis groing concern of kyreeces' behaviour,  he decides to seek out professional assistance. he initially wants to know what could cause kyreeces' obsession  so, He first goes to see professor Laura lewis, a neuroscience lecturer at UCL university.

professor Laura lewis mentioned Dopamine being released in the brain, Ali wanted to know if the people of London know what it is

Ali was interested in what she had to say and did more research into dopamine.  he found that there are links betweens dopamine and addiction. he wanted to know more and went to Dr Macally, about the word addiction

After visiting two specialists, Ali concluded that kyreece cannot be diagnosed with addiction, as he's only an infant. But what about a mature being. what about you watching now? how do you know if you are addicted or not. if so, i leave you with 1 question, what is your level of addiction.

Changes to poster from focus group feedback

After conducting two focus groups, we received numerous feedback from every individual. We They all agreed that the pills advert was most topic related and would be the most successful ad for our campaign. Only a few suggested changes to the ad but some suggested using the Dimitri font and slogan from the other 2 ads we presented. They thought it would be more effective in targeting our audience, rather than using the Game Over font. So we experimented with Dimitri font on our add and concluded the game over font would have more purpose in targeting our audience instead of Dimitri as is can be easily identified by any user of games.

Focus group for posters

We conducted two focus groups for our posters to get feedback on all 3 poster designs. The response to their feedback on a separate post.